Transformational Learning Through Art & Artist Identity
“And the art therapist must grow as well. An aspect of growth is the continuing search for understanding, the ongoing refinement of one’s thinking. This is an active process of attending to all possible influences, including new ideas and theories.”
ARTIFACT 1:
Self-Box and Group of Artwork
My transformational process began early on in the program with the creation of my Self-Box. That process took me through my journey leading up to the decision to change careers and pursue art therapy and counseling. It underscored the depth of my desire to make a difference through art and my passion for psychology. The box, as its own being in the conversation, told a story illustrating my emotional full-circle journey from childhood trauma and first mental health system experiences to deciding to become an art therapist and counselor. It was evident to me then that this path was my calling. Art has continued to transform me in even more profound ways ever since.
Layers of Growth:
For me, icebergs are a powerful symbol of growth. What we see on the surface is a small percentage of what’s underneath. We all have a much deeper story down in our depths. I worked with watercolor and sponge for this painting, and I felt moved by the blending of color into the paper fibers. Much like the colors in a sunrise or sunset, the colors seemed to melt into one another in some secret dance. Creating this piece felt relaxing and right. It speaks to my own growth and desire to continue learning and growing throughout my life journey.
Lantern of Difference:
I created this artwork as a symbol of gratitude for my art therapist and all that we had worked on together. I gave it to her after my last session before moving as a parting gift, and to let her know that she had made a difference in my life and helped me grow through art therapy.
Finding Home:
This exercise began with a pencil sketch of my most dominant feelings over the past week. From there, I began painting with watercolor because the watery movement of the paint felt attuned to my feelings at the time and because it is one of my favorite mediums to work with. I carefully added just the right amount of shimmery metallic accents to convey the more mystical/spiritual aspects of my feelings. Then, I added additional accents with metallic pens and coated the whole piece in a protective acrylic gloss.
During the exercise, I noticed an attunement to my mental state, feelings, and physical reactions. Additionally, I sensed an emotional state of immersion in the fluidity of the watercolor. That helped me enter a state of flow and deepen my connection and awareness of my emotions. I also noticed some anxiety and sadness in my chest somatically as I worked through the painting. This exercise dealt with my positive feelings about finding a home, putting down roots, and feelings of gratefulness for the love and gifts passed down from my departed Aunt. After finishing the artwork, I noticed heightened connections between my feelings of thankfulness toward my Aunt and sadness for her death. The entire exercise left me with more awareness and healing.
Related to psychodynamic theoretical models, I noticed a significant quantity of symbolic elements in my finished piece: roots, the hearts/love in the solid foundation, the moon and stars, the third eye, and my Aunt represented as a bird.
"Layers of Growth"
"Lantern of Difference"
"Finding Home"
ARTIFACT 2:
Studio Art Project
This project is all about pushing my growth edge with watercolor. With no prior education in the medium and little personal experience with it, I wanted to explore the relationship of water with pigment. I felt profoundly and instinctually drawn to it. Prior explorations were done in ignorance and robbed the watercolor of its unique properties. I wanted to learn how to use it in a manner respectful of what it has to offer. Something about its inherent fluidity tugs at my soul. So, I signed up for two watercolor classes to build a strong foundation. Over seven weeks, I engaged in approximately fifty-five hours of educational and personal exploration of the medium.
My creative process evolved throughout the journey but focused mainly on process over product: the process of exploration, discovery, and homing in on that quality of awe inherent in finding a new way of artistic expression. One of my biggest takeaways is the innocent exploratory quality, childlike and void of expectations, and how profoundly important that is to me. This showed up in my work repeatedly through experimentation with how additional media play with the watercolor paint, like charcoal, India Ink, isopropyl alcohol, salt, and plastic wrap. I felt so mesmerized by these interactions that I plan to explore other symbiotic combinations.
Nature and my connection to it is a theme across my work, from vessels containing water to flowers, trees, underwater creatures, and biomorphic art––my art leans toward the organic. I’ve always felt drawn to both water and nature. I grew up in rural Ohio on a 14-acre Christmas tree farm among thousands of trees. We had gardens, an orchard, two ponds, fresh grass, and an elaborately landscaped yard. We shared the land with an old giant oak tree, born well over a century ago. My childhood was primarily peaceful and largely spent exploring the land, connecting with the earth and her creatures. However, my turbulent teenage years turned traumatic, and I had to learn to survive, find my own path, and grow up too fast.
These experiences are significant because they have directly influenced my art and my love for watercolor. I connect with the water inherent in watercolor not only for its direct friendship with the natural world but also for its fluidity. I resonate with water and its seemingly magical ability to find new pathways through the world when faced with obstacles or challenges. It can flow through small spaces, seep into the ground, carve a new path, and even wear down rock. It can turn into steam, rain, snow, and ice. It nourishes all life on our planet and is one of nature’s most precious allies. Most beautifully, it can play with pigment and create works of art. My early experiences with nature and finding a new path in the face of trauma are two lenses that shape my worldview, my ideas, and my exploration of the watercolor medium and the subject matter itself. Additionally, my deeply held concern for our unfolding climate crisis and the ecological grief that I feel at the profound loss of species and ecosystems was apparent.
Artist Identity
Watercolor isn’t the only medium I find myself gravitating toward. Additionally, I have a love for working with clay, soft pastels, oil pastels, collages, and photography. In each media, I find characteristics I resonate with. I think it is the exploration process that brings me the most joy. More recently, I’ve been using art to explore my dreams, the unconscious, and spirituality.
As I progress in my journey into the field of art therapy and counseling, I envision a future where I continue to push my growth edge as both an artist and art therapist. Such exploration is paramount for personal and professional growth because it mirrors what I will ask of clients in the therapeutic environment. I must practice what I preach in art therapy and continue to work on myself in the same manner that I work with clients. This means having regular and consistent art practice, engaging in art classes to improve my skills, seeking my own therapy, and regularly engaging with literature in the field. The meaningful nature of the exploratory process for me, underscores the joy I will find in the journey ahead.
ARTIFACT 3:
Group Facilitation Reflection
I loved the group facilitation process. It was such a gift to incorporate meditation and trauma-informed yoga and invite the group to create art based on those experiences in a manner that fostered increased self-awareness. I learned that offering choices in art-making directives is essential, and all three options I provided were well-received. I felt honored to be a witness to their process and creations.
ARTIFACT 4:
Body Meditation and Doll Creation
I found a doll pattern and chose a celestial patterned fabric with a silver sun face for her front, and a gold sun face for her back. I wrote rune symbols in gold ink on the inside of the front fabric as follows: Kenaz on her head for studying, creativity, and to chase the shadows back; Ansuz on her chest for breath and connection to the spiritual plane; Uruz on her core for wild, primal Earth energy, health, vitality, and endurance; and Laguz on her womb for ease of menstruation and the journey through menopause. Inside, I included the following symbolic items:
lavender for the love of my body, healing from past choices, and grace as my body ages.
my removed wisdom tooth for maturity, emotional stability, wisdom, and beauty.
an evergreen pine needle from the Ohio farm where I grew up for longevity.
a dandelion flower from the winter land I grew up on for hope, healing, and resilience.
shells that my great-grandmother collected on a beach to connect me to my ancestors and to represent my inner sanctuary.
Finally, I wrote the following haiku-based affirmation poem:
"Chariot of my soul, I connect with my body, care and nurturing.
I age gracefully, peace and wisdom with the years, feel ancestral roots.
I heal from the old, see the beauty in myself, love and light within."
During this creation process, I felt a healing beginning to take root inside me. I've not appreciated my body for too long, which is beginning to change.
"Spirit Doll" - Front
"Spirit Doll" - Back